FoodVentures : Mars Muffin or Muffins are From Mars

*I realized that it's been quite sometime since I've done a foodventure. Don't worry, I haven't lost my taste for it (though this muffin pushes it) or my taste for adventure. I guess I haven't been scouring the shelves of my local markets as thoroughly lately. Please forgive the long overdue new food review. *

In a word, Ick. Do Not Buy one of these! That's why I do this, blogglings. I test the food fads so you don't have to, I throw myself on the front lines of questionable snacks so that you may save your time and eat tried and true deliciousness like cheddar sunchips and miss vickie's sea salt and vinegar specials, mmmmm. You're welcome. ;)

I was at the trainstation last week with the always lovely Markalicious and was tempted by the slick packaging and the fact that I hadn't eaten yet. Always a deadly combination. Chocolate, caramel & breakfast food, what's not to love right? Some exec somewhere was thinking to cash in on the whole sweets for breakfast deal (sweetie, that fad has come and gone. All that endures is cinnamon toast crunch and pop tarts, let it go). Anyhoodles, someone somewhere ought to be fired. I did a side by side comparison of the muffin and it's name sake. Regard....

The chocolate on top of the muffin is IDENTICAL to the candy bar and therefore the only decent part of this muffiny monstrosity. But hot on the heels of that chocolate layer is a dry desiccated diluted chocolate flavored muffin impersonator. To be fair, Europe is just not a major muffin capitol. The best and possibly only blueberry muffins I had in Milan were from a McDo. Ok? You dig? These McVities muffins are supposedly from UK, therefore the fall out of commonly acknowledged 'Muffin Belt'.

The package describes them as having a 'caramel center' , although the thought turned my stomach, I was imagining more of a rolo's soft caramel like filling in a hostess cupcake sort of exterior. I am not sure what the 3 dots of light brown creme-like filling were but I'll tell you what they were not. Caramel. Lastly, there was no nougat. What is a Mars bar/Milky Way without it's signature nougat? Nothing I tells ya! Ladies and Gents, stick to your truckstop candy bars and leave the muffins to the muffin makers. Chocolate, not for breakfast anymore (unless it's a pain au chocolat).

The end.

Survey Says : As another review of McVities candy muffins remarked "A moment of Passion and Regret" minus the passion. Although all of the reviewers of the 'Galaxy Muffin' gave them 3-4 star ratings my conscious wouldn't be clean if I didn't warn you all of my tale of woe. You can read some other brilliant review of the mc vitie's muffin assortments here.


Anonymous said...

daaaaang. i never thought there would be such a thing as a uhhh .. not-good muffin. never. thanks for the head's up. i guess i was never really in danger since i hadn't heard of these red planet pastries prior to this, but still i appreciate your efforts.

silly fools. no nougat?

Anonymous said...

Ouah c'est dingue des muffins Mars ?! Et ça a la prétention de se prendre pour un muffin en plus !

Unknown said...

I'm a fan of the "real deal" but the home-made version is even better IMO:

Anonymous said...

THESE MARS MUFFINS ARE GORGEOUS. I Think you are from another planet where they speak out their....